Why I'm a bad blogger

1) I'm not committed to blogging and getting traffic on my blog. I have far too many other things that are a higher priority.

2) I have plenty of opinions, but don't want to come across as "my way is the only way" with everything, and I don't want to seem judgmental. I also don't like posting a bunch of rants. So sometimes I just don;t post anything at all.

3) I read other blogs, but I seldom comment.

4) I'm not confident in my writing. I sort of just do it for me and it isn't a necessity like it used to be (back when I had a detailed daily journal)

5) Sometimes just stopping and enjoying the moments brings far more joy than trying to write down every detail. Though I do love sharing Jacob's monthly developments.

6) I just don't feel like I'm as good at writing things of interest as I used to be.

7) I don't have an "attractive" blog. Not because I haven't read all the tips on how to attract more readers by my page design, but because I'm always too busy to try to change anything.

So, unless I work on changing, it may just be the monthly updates of Jacob and a random thought now and then. And for now, I'm okay with that.

Jacob 11 months

My sweet little man is almost a year old!

On Monday Jacob was weighed and measured. My little peanut is now 18lbs 5oz, and 27 and 3/8 inches tall. He is still in the 1st percentile for height, but his weight went from 3rd percentile, to 12th! I think that having eased him into drinking some whole cow's milk has helped him gain a little weight.

Jacob wears quite a variety of different clothing sizes. He wears 6-9 month pants, 6-12 month onesies, and 12 month pajamas. He is still swimming in size 3 disposable diapers though.

Jacob eats very well, despite the fact that he has started to hate most purees. He does really good eating most normal foods, even though he only has two bottom teeth. He particularly loves eggs and breakfast sausage, dinner rolls, ramen noodles, and stuffing. He had his first grilled cheese sandwich the other day as well, and seemed to enjoy it! As I mentioned before, he drinks milk now too, usually a few ounces with each meal.

After his second haircut. I cannot believe how fast his hair grows!

As for new "tricks", Jacob has learned a lot this month. He blows in his whistle now...which mean he can also blow bubbles in his milk. He makes kissy noises, loves to point at things and be told what they are, and he has started walking! It is so cute to see him toddle his way across the livingroom, and he is so proud if himself. Jacob also knows how to open the toilet lid, pull on the toilet paper, and flush the toilet! Alex and I joke that now he just needs to learn how to tell us when he has to go potty.

Obedience is something that is very important to Alex and I, so we started early on with training Jacob to listen. He understands -and most of the time listens to- "No", and "Come here". We're very proud of him! It has made having a Christmas tree in our livingroom a lot easier than it would have been with a less compliant child. We still have to remind him not to touch it, but it's not a constant thing.

Sleep. Sleep is and has consistently been my biggest struggle as Jacob's mommy. He is just a sleep fighter through and through. I can do everything by the book and he still wakes up 2-8 times a night. We haven't given up though! We're slowly weaning him off of being nursed as often, and no more nighttime pacifier. He has actually started to do a bit better the past week or so, so I'm hopeful.

With each month that passes, and each milestone learned I'm more and more amazed at what a bright, happy, responsive little man we have been blessed with. Jacob is constantly bringing Alex and I joy and making us laugh in delight. I don't know where he got his big personality from, but I love it!

Being thankful for the good in the bad

I've been a bit of a whiner lately. Sad, but true. And earlier today I was whining about things in my head again. When i realized it, I was ashamed of myself.

I have no excuse to be ungrateful and upset with where I am at in life, and with what I have been given. So, as an exercise in thankfulness I decided that I need to make a list. A list in which I find something good to say about every single one of the complaints I have had recently. Who knows, it may end up being a lot easier than I expect...

* I was feeling sorry for myself that Alex is gone so much of the day, it feels like our time together is so limited now. But, I am thankful that Alex has a good job! I'm thankful that he gets paid overtime for any time he is working past 3:30pm, and I'm thankful that he gets home safely every evening and that he does get to spend time with Jacob and I before bed. I'm also thankful, and proud, with how well Alex has been able to adjust to working full-time again.

* I was feeling annoyed that I don't want to eat any of the food we have in the house. I'm thankful that eating less could help me lose weight, and thankful that we have food available! I'm also thankful that my hubby doesn't let me get away with going out to get something every night just because I'm being picky.

* Lack of sleep was/is causing stress, anxiety, and emotional upheaval. I'm thankful that when I do get to sleep I have a nice, warm, comfortable bed to sleep in, freshly laundered sheets and pillows, and Alex to keep me warm. I'm thankful for my little Jacob even when he does wake me up. Every time he starts fussing at night it's a reassurance that he's still breathing! I'm thankful for the joy that he is to me, and how wonderful he is. Honestly, I think the sleep issue is really the most difficult part of caring for him right now.

* I was upset and angry at myself that I have put weight back on. But, I'm thankful that I was able to lose almost 50lbs this year! (not counting the weight lost because of having Jacob) I'm thankful that I have felt happier, had more energy, and been able to wear most of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I'm also thankful that I know if I put my mind to it I can lose the weight again.

* I've been stressed out because the new house still isn't in order and organized yet, and some days I feel like I get nothing done. I'm thankful that we have a new, bigger, house. A house where I don't have to smell cigarettes and marijuana from an upstairs neighbor (we don't have one!) A house with a garage, with a spare room, and a non-carpeted dining room. I'm thankful that we have been so abundantly blessed with things that it is taking me this long to find spots for it all. I'm thankful for Goodwill, and that I can pass on unused clothes and items rather than wasting space on them. I'm thankful for my son who is the biggest distraction from getting anything done, but the most fun "job" I have during the day.

* I have been annoyed with the amount of poopy diapers Jacob has every single day, and gotten tired of the hassle of rinsing cloth diapers. I'm thankful that Jacob is eating well and that his body is processing foods well! I'm thankful for our friends who let us borrow their cloth diapers, and that I we have been able to save so much money by using them. And I'm thankful for the huge sense of relief i have every time I get a diaper that's just wet.

And...I'm done for now. The more I wrote about what I was thankful for, the less I was able to think of things I've been unhappy with.

What are you thankful for?

Pretzel kiss candies

Today I'm going to share a simple recipe for some of the yummiest salty/sweet candies ever! I found the idea for these candies online. Nobody seems to know who the original creator was, so if it was you, thank you! These are amazing.

Preheat the oven to 275*

Make a single layer of pretzels. Any shape of pretzel could be used...except rods.

Unwrap and place a single hershey's kiss on each pretzel. Place them in the oven for about 6 minutes.

Choose a candy to place on top. I used regular M&Ms and Reese's pieces, I also made a few with candy corn.

Place a candy in the middle of each kiss and press down gently

Let them cool, and enjoy! Just try not to eat them all at once.

I'm sure that you could make all sorts of varieties for this. Mint kisses with Christmas colored M&Ms, rolos with pecans on top, or even the seasonal pumpkin pie kisses with pecans...the ideas are pretty much endless, and you could make them work for any season!

10 months!!

My little man is ten months old today!!

By now I'm pretty sure Jacob will always be a little peanut. He is so small still! He now wears 3-6 month pants, and 6-9 month onesies. He is also now wearing size 3 disposable diapers -not because he was outgrowing the 2s- but because he is growing, and we wanted to buy a large pack without risking him outgrowing them partway through the box.

Jacob eats very well. He was eating six jars of baby puree a day, plus a snack and nursing three-six times. We are in awe of how much food this little guy can pack away!
Now that we're buying some 6oz jars of food, he only eats three or four jars a day.
So far, other than the few weeks he refused to eat baby meat (I don't blame him!) Jacob has never turned down a food. I don't know if he really has any favorites. He does always polish off apple, strawberry, banana. He also loves animal crackers.

Sleep is going a bit better. This morning was the first time that Jacob slept through Alex getting up and leaving for work. I'm hopeful that it will stick this time!

As far as learning new things, Jacob figured out how to turn his walker around last week. It used to be that whenever he ran into a wall, or some other obstacle, he would scream and cry in frustration. Now he just moves to the other side and pushes it away from whatever is in his way. Such a relief! We also discovered that the laundry basket makes a better walker than his walker does. So now our dirty laundry stays in a pile on the floor because the basket is almost always in use for Jacob to walk around.
Yesterday Jacob fed himself a bite of food with a spoon for the very first time! He was so proud of himself, and the mess of broccoli and carrots on his tray, face, feet, hands, and clothes were definitely worth it!
Also yesterday Jacob figured out how to use a straw. He is so short that even though he knew how to use his own sippy cup, he had to lay down every time, because he wasn't able to tilt the bottom of the cup far enough up to get water. So we bought him a sippy with a straw and he learned how to use it really fast!
One of his favorite toys right now is a lid to one of his bottles. It has a tiny little hole in it and he discovered that if he puts the lid over his mouth and inhales it whistles. he does this often now! He was even doing it in the bath and making the water that was in the cup gurgle. When he has two bottle lids, he smacks them together like cymbals. He also gives kisses now, mostly just to me. but has given his daddy and "Aunt" Deena one. Big, open-mouthed, splobbery kisses...that will sometimes turn into a bite on the chin or nose. Biting is something we're trying to nip in the bud super fast!

Jacob's smile has changed now too. He has a wide cheesy grin, and he loves to grin! It is one of the cutest things I have ever seen, I just never seem to be able to catch it on camera.  For the most part he is happy and outgoing. He never fails to elicit at least one comment while we are at the store.

My little man is such a joy! I am trying to cherish every minute. It's passing so very fast!

Something to think about.

 When Alex and I started dating Alex introduced me to one of his favorite series of books. It's called The Sword of Truth and is written by Terry Goodkind.

Book eight in the series. where the following excerpts are from.

I still haven't finished the series and when we unpacked the books after moving last month I decided to pick up where I had left off. I came to a few different passages that really resonated with me as I read them. It was like the author was able to put in to words some of my feelings about what I believe and how I will act on those beliefs. So I decided to share them here.

 If you want to have a full grasp of the story I suggest you read the books, but here is a summarization of what's going on in this part: There is an evil army (the Order) taking over the land, raping, ruining, and destroying everything in their path. One village of people feel that fighting back will make them evil and that everyone has some good in them and should have a second (or third) chance to do the right thing. The main character of the books is trying to teach them otherwise.

"If, hoping to appease it, you willingly compromise with unrepentant evil, you only allow such evil to sink its fangs into you; from that day on its venom will course through your veins until it finally kills you."

"But that's too harsh a sentiment," the man said, "it's just being stubborn and obstructing a constructive path. There is always room for compromise." ...

..."In trade between willing parties who share moral values and who deal fairly and honestly with one another, compromise over something like price is legitimate. In matters of morality or truth, there can be no compromise.
"Compromising with murderers, which is precisely what you are suggesting, grants them moral  equivalence where none can rightly exist. Moral equivalence says that you are no better than they; therefore, their beliefs -that they should be able to torture, rape, or murder you- is just as morally valid as your view - that you have the right to live free of their violence. Moral compromise rejects the concept of right and wrong. It says that everyone is equal, all desires are equally valid, all action is equally valid, so everyone should compromise to get along.
"Where would you compromise with those who torture, rape, and murder people? In the number of days a week you will be tortured? In the number of men to be allowed to rape your loved ones? In how many of your family are to be murdered?
"No moral equivalence exists in that situation, nor can it exist, so there can be no compromise, only suicide.
"To even suggest compromise can exist with such men is to sanction murder."

And later, when the same group of people are saying that the popular decision of the people is the right one:

"But we must reach a consensus," one man said.

"For what purpose?" Richard asked.

"In order for our decision to be correct," he explained.
"No proper decision about the right course of action in any important situation can be made without consensus."

"You are attempting to give moral authority to mob rule," Richard said.

"But a consensus points to the proper moral judgment," another man insisted, "because it is the will of the people."

"I see," Richard said. "So what you're saying is that if all of you men decide to rape my sister, here, then it's a moral act because you have consensus to rape her, and if I oppose you, I'm immoral for standing alone and failing to have a consensus behind me. That about the way you men see it?"

The men shrank back in confused revulsion. One spoke up.
"Well...no, not exactly-"

"Right and wrong are not the product of consensus," Richard said, cutting him off."You are trying to make a virtue of mob rule. Rational moral choices are based on the value of life, not a consensus. A consensus can't make the sun rise at midnight, nor can it change a wrong into a right, or the other way around. If something is wrong, it matters not if a thousand other men are for it; you must still oppose it. If something is just, no amount of popular outcry should stay you from your course."

And, the last section I am going to share, the people are again arguing that there is no such thing as evil.

"Kaja-Rang banished your people not only because they couldn't see magic, but, more importantly, because they couldn't see evil."

In restless disquiet the men glanced about at their companions. "But what you call evil is just a way of expressing inner pain," one of them said, more as a plea than an argument.

"That's right," another told Richard. "Saying someone is evil is prejudiced thinking. It's a way of belittling someone already in pain for some reason. Such people must be embraced and taught to shed their fears of their fellowman and then they will not strike out in violent ways."

Richard swept his glare across all the watching faces. He pointed up at the statue.
"Kaja-Rang feared you because you are dangerous to everyone - not because you are ungifted, but because you embrace evil with your teachings. In so doing, in trying to be kind, to be unselfish, in trying to be nonjudgmental, you allow evil to become far more powerful than it otherwise would. You refuse to see evil, and so you welcome it among you. You allow it to exist. You give it power over you. You are a people who have welcomed death and refuse to denounce it.
"You are an empire naked to the shadow of evil."

If I wanted to make it fit my thoughts as I read it some of the phrases would be just a bit different.
Such as: "Rational moral choices are based on the value of life, not a consensus"  would say "Rational moral choices are based on the truth of God's Word, not a consensus."
As I read this book I just kept thinking how very fitting it was for society today. A society where you are considered prejudiced and mean if you say anyone is wrong. A society that calls wrongdoing a medical condition and gives it scientific names and prescribes drugs to "fix it". A society that thinks we should embrace everyone no matter what, and that "if you don't like something, don't do it"..need I go on?
It bothers me, and it irritates me, sometimes it angers me, and when it comes down to it, even if I am alone against a thousand other people I want to stand for the truth of what's right and point out evil for what it really is.

Where would you stand? Take a moment. Think about it

Jacob 9 months old

I was tempted to write an update on Jacob at eight and a half months old. He learned so much in just a few weeks!

One day he learned how to sit up in his crib, the next time I went to get him he was standing up holding the rails, and the very next day he figured out how to crawl!

Yesterday Jacob was weighed and measured. he weighs 16lbs 12oz now, and is 26 inches long. Percentile wise this means he is in third percentile for weight, and not even on the charts for height. My little peanut. He wears mostly 0-3 month pants with a few 3-6 thrown in, and he wears mostly 6-9 month onesies.

Jacob has started eating a lot more over the past week or so. Partially because he's finally over his cold (after two rounds of antibiotics) I'm sure. Most days he eats a jar of fruit for breakfast, a jar of veggies for lunch, and a jar of veggies and a jar of meat for dinner, with a few snacks of crackers or finger foods thrown in. Last week he got to try spaghetti and meatballs for the first time, which he absolutely loved, and last night he had some of our tuna casserole. I'm pretty sure that very soon he'll just start eating whatever Alex and I are eating.

Spaghetti face!

Jacob just started saying "mama" the other day. But it's not something that happens often. I normally only hear it when he is talking to himself during playtime. He has been playing by himself really, really well this past week. I love how many things have improved with his health! He loves his little push-walker. He walks all over the livingroom and hallway. It doesn't even phase him when he runs into a wall, he just keeps pushing and bouncing the wheels off of whatever is in his way. He loves dancing too, even if it's just bobbing his head up and down while sitting. I love to watch him enjoying music!

Books are quite fun too. Jacob loves turning the pages and some of his favorite books are the touch and feel ones where there are different textures for him to rub.

Reading with Daddy!

Crawling has improved in the two weeks since he started! Jacob crawls over the house now, and he's fast! He has what we call a gimpy leg. He pushes off with one foot to go forward and drags the other one behind him. It is so cute, but it took me a few days to figure out why the top of one foot was always dirty by bedtime. I also joke about the fact that I always know where he is as long as he's moving because he hums to himself. It's when he stops to play with something that I have to go check on him.

Jacob is learning the concept of  "No" and doing very well! His favorite "toy" is electrical cords, so it seems like we're telling him no a lot. Usually as soon as we'll say it he will drop -or stop reaching for- the cord, and after a few times of trying, he'll go find something else to do. I'm so proud of him.

Chewing on a cord

I'm sure there are other little things I'm forgetting. Like the fact that he learned how to clap over a month ago, he loves to wave his arms when he's excited, he's starting to learn how to wave "hi" and "bye-bye", and is pretty good at high-fives.

I love when he gets enough sleep and wakes up happy!

 Sleep is still a struggle. What with him getting sick, then us moving, me getting sick, then him still being sick, and me getting sick again, it feels like we haven't been able to keep a very regular schedule for him. It's a work in progress though, and now that he's better and I'm almost all better, I'm sure it will happen soon.

Jacob and Opal. They were Mickey and Minnie, completely unplanned

I love watching my baby grown and learn, it's hard to believe it's been nine months already!!