♥ Our Story ♥

 The meeting..

 I still remember the first time I saw the man I am now married to. It has been almost two years now! Alex visited our church on Mother's Day 2009. I had never seen him before in the year I had been there, but I could tell that most of the other people in the church knew him because they were asking him how he had been, where he was living, etc. He caught my eye from my spot up in the choir loft because while most of the other younger men in our church didn't sing along during the worship time, he did. A fact that impressed me. That afternoon I asked one of the girls in my youth group -a girl who was one of my best friends at the time- about him. She told me that he was a member of the church but hadn't been there for over 5 years because he had been in the Navy. We went on a walk that afternoon, and being the -still somewhat immature and silly- teenage girls that we were, we joked about which one of us would end up with Alex and talked about his looks (I remember mentioning that he appeared to be rather short). Memorial Day weekend Alex was at church again. A bunch of us teens hung out that evening after church then spent the whole next day together hanging out, playing football, and had a cook-out. Though I felt comfortable around him a bit faster than is usual for me when hanging out with new people, I didn't really became interested in Alex in a romantic way. Partially due to the fact that my friend liked him and talked about him to me a lot. But also, I didn't know him well enough to know what he was really like. It became a regular thing for most of the teens and Alex to hang out on Sunday afternoons between church services.
 
 I was going through my own emotional struggles at this point. I was dealing with depression, uncertainty of what to do with my life, and worrying too much about what other people thought of me. But I wanted to seem happy around other people, and I was starting to come out of my shell: something that was taken to be mild flirting at times.

Just one of the times we were all hanging out.

 The possibility...or not.
 Soon enough Alex showed interest in my friend, but she would still get worried that I also liked him, and was sometimes upset at us for talking to each other. About the middle of August they started dating and I was genuinely happy for them. There had been another young man who started coming to the church around the same time they started dating, and I was slightly interested in him, as he seemed to have a growing relationship with Christ, and showed an interest in me. In September my friend left for college and Alex drove up to visit her a few times. The end of October I went to visit her with her family one weekend and she told me that she had broken up with Alex. I respected her reasons, but I felt bad for Alex. He was so obviously hurting that Sunday that I spent most of the morning service in prayer for him. Now, I had already been praying for Alex, but my prayers changed a little bit at this point. I started praying that God would heal his hurt and that my friendship would somehow be a blessing to him. I also prayed that he would eventually find a girl who would love and appreciate him without expecting him to change for her sake.

About the same time, the young man I thought had been showing interest in me had a conversation with me in which he let me know without a doubt that he wasn't interested in a romantic relationship at that point in time. 



A new beginning?
  Alex and I both found ourselves at a place of "Now what?". He lives about half an hour from the church we were attending, and because all of us teens weren't hanging out anymore on Sunday afternoons, my sister, Heidi, and her hubby, Jeb, started inviting Alex over to hang out and have dinner with us so that he wouldn't have to eat alone, or drive as much to come back for evening services. He had also started coming to a Bible study that I was part of on Mondays and we would hang out and talk some then, and we had started texting occasionally. He was part of the church choir and we got to know each other better during that time too. He also started sitting beside me during church. Our friendship had the chance to deepen and soon Alex was my closest friend besides Heidi, but was slowly becoming my best friend. I started realizing just how much I enjoyed talking and hanging out with him, that when he was happy I was happy, but when he was struggling with hurting still and was sad it made me sad too. With all of our talking we started discovering we hadn't seen many movies in common so he started coming over after Wednesday church and Monday Bible study to watch movies. I had always had the resolution that I would never make the first move into a romantic relationship, but as I became interested in Alex as possibly more than a friend, I would still need the reminder from Heidi: "If the man isn't willing to lead into a relationship, than he won't be the one leading in the relationship!" So there would be days when I would decide not to text Alex or start a chat on facebook. It seemed that every time I would decide that, I would get a text from him just to say hi, or that evening a message from him would pop up and we would chat for a few hours. Also during these months I could see that Alex's interest in growing closer to the Lord was getting stronger, and that the Lord was working in his heart. Through some of our talks I knew that Alex was a Christian, but had just recently had a renewed interest in living as one. 

Alex had given me some of his mocha, and I kept the cup for a few days...silly girl that I was :)

  

The dream becomes reality.
  One Sunday night towards the middle of December there was a community Christmas sing in which Alex and I both had solos. For the first half of the program Alex and I were sitting beside each other. He kept encouraging me because I was so nervous about having to sing a solo into a mic in front of that many people. After the sing Alex came over to watch another movie he had never seen, The Phantom of the Opera, and about half way through it he grabbed my hand and held it for the rest of the time he was there. I hadn't really thought he liked me as more than a friend...well, I had thought it but I didn't really believe it was possible...but after he held my hand I knew I needed to find out what his intentions were before either of us got any more involved. The next day I talked to Jeb (who was also my pastor) and got some advice from him. I ended up inviting Alex over after Bible study and we were all going to have a talk. I was super nervous the whole day, worried that Alex wasn't really interested in me and that I would somehow mess up the friendship or hurt him by having it brought up that I thought he was. I could hardly sit still through the Bible study and wasn't able to eat anything pretty much the whole day. Finally Alex got to my house, though much later than usual. We had some ice cream then Jeb called us all in the kitchen to sit at the table. He told Alex that I had told them that he had held my hand. He then said "Now, usually that is a gesture that implies more than friendship, but if your upbringing was a bit different and that's just a friendship thing, then the next thing I will ask is that you hold my hand during the next movie." Alex replied "I would have to decline!" and we all laughed a little. Jeb said "So the next question is: Are you interested in developing a relationship with Sadie as more than just friends?" Without even blinking Alex just said "Yes!" very confidently. I was so excited!! Up to that point I wasn't at all sure if I was right about him liking me. That Wednesday Alex officially asked me out before church. I, of course, said yes! So we started dating with the known intentions of finding out if the other person was someone we would want to spend the rest of our lives married to.  

A harsher reality.                                                    
We didn't let anyone know that we were dating at first. Not only because it was a little awkward that I was dating my friend's ex, but we didn't want there to be a lot of drama, especially if things didn't work out. A few days before Christmas I got a message from my friend that she thought I was mad at her and she could tell that I liked Alex (when she asked me while she was home on Thanksgiving break if I liked him I had told her that we were just friends. But she gave me her permission to date him if I was ever interested) but she still wanted to be friends. So that evening at Bible study I talked to her and explained that I thought she had been avoiding me, and that I wasn't at all upset at her. In fact, I still wanted to be friends too. Alex also talked to her and apologized for having avoided her, being upset at her for the break-up, and not having handled things in the way he should have. Everything was great for a few days. Everyone hung out and laughed and joked together and the awkwardness was gone. I spent Christmas with Alex at his mom and step dad's ranch. We changed our facebook profile pictures to the one of the two of us standing together, though we still hadn't told people we were dating. Life was wonderful! A few days later I called my mom and told her that I was dating someone. People were starting to figure out then that Alex and I were a couple and a few days later we both got messages from his ex. She thought that we had been trying to hide the fact that we were dating from her and she was upset. I apologized and we got everything there worked out, but then she replied and kind of warned me not to be settling just to have a boyfriend. Alex was very hurt by what that implied, and sent her a message telling her that he was hurt, and explaining that he still cares about what happened to her and didn't understand why she seemed to resent him now. On top of that there were some problems with the church and we found out that there was a strong possibility that my sister and her hubby would be moving. Which meant that I would either have to find a job and a place to stay on my own, or end up a distance from Alex. Nothing would be known for certain for at least a month.

God's provision!
Time went on and Alex and I went on a few dates, talked on a phone in the evenings he didn't make it up to see me, and just enjoyed the time of getting to know each other. Eventually we found out that my brother-in-law was going to resign from the church, which meant that we would be moving. There was a lot of stress for a while. Nothing here seemed to be opening up, I couldn't find a job, and I really didn't want to have to move away from Alex. I prayed that there would be someway to stay in the area, but that if I couldn't that God would give me the grace to not only be content, but to be joyful wherever I ended up. The end of February it was getting close to the time when we would have to find somewhere else to live and Heidi told me that she and Jeb had decided to move back east. Almost 3,000 miles from where we were. I knew that if there was any way possible I would stay where I was. In what can only be attributed to God, things worked out that Alex got his own apartment and I moved into where he had been staying with his mom and grandma. Everything worked out so perfectly! Alex had a bunch of overtime the month he had to pay the extra deposits,etc, for the new apartment; Heidi and Jeb gave him the furniture that they didn't want to take with them; then he got a raise! Something that is almost unheard of where he worked. In less than a week, we went from not knowing if I would be in the area for much longer, to Alex and I both moving and living in the same section of apartments, only a few buildings and a parking lot apart.

 
The proposal♥
  The end of April 2010, after a late dinner out Alex and I were at his apartment and I was getting ready to make a cup of hot tea. I had been sick all week and wanted something to ease my cough. As I got up and headed to the kitchen Alex jumped up beside me and grabbed my hand. He then knelt on the floor in front of me and he pulled out a box which he opened to show me a ring. He told me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Then he asked "Will you marry me?" I whispered "Yes!" and then he put the ring on my finger, got up and gave me a big hug. When I was telling some friends I was engaged they asked for details and wanted to know if he was romantic. I told them "I had a runny nose, red watery eyes, bad ear infections, plugged ears so I was whispering all day, and I had just developed a cough. I don't know if you could be more romantic than to look at someone when they are like that and to tell them with absolute sincerity that they are beautiful and that you want to spend the rest of your life with them."  

Sick, but ecstatic to be engaged!

The long wait. 
 Alex and I set our wedding date for September. We had wanted to set the date earlier, but we had to decide on a later one so that Jeb would be able to perform the ceremony. Those few months were probably the longest months of my life. Alex and I had decided early on in our dating relationship that we would not kiss until our wedding day, and we stuck to it! It wasn't at all easy, and we took some foolish risks at times: spending time alone, not having things to keep us busy, etc. But we were able to rely on God's strength to help us do what we knew was right for us, and we had our friends and family hold us accountable. In a time where sexual purity is seen as prudish or old-fashioned we really wanted to be above reproach. During these months we discovered that we had been lied to by the other young man who I had thought was interested in me. It come out in the open that he had secretly had a relationship with someone else pretty much the whole time we had known him! This discovery just made me so much more grateful for how God had worked to bring me into a relationship with Alex. The wedding planning wasn't very stressful and we were blessed to have a lot of help. I designed my own dress and Heidi made it for me. Alex's grandma did all the flowers and decor, my mom made the bridesmaids' dresses and helped with food and the cake, Alex's mom took care of the rehearsal dinner, my oldest sister, Erin, was willing to be our photographer...we just had so many people offer to help! We found out that Jeb wasn't able to make our marriage legal where we were going to have it, so the day we flew across the country to where the wedding would be held Alex and I went to the justice of the peace and got legally married. We tried to view it as just getting a legal document, and we continued to wait to share our kiss. 

The day I married my best friend!
 Our wedding day was wonderful! I was not stressed out at all, just so very excited! Heidi and Jeb took Alex and I to lunch at Burger King before the ceremony. I had a fish sandwich and a cherry slushee (and so had to double brush my teeth to remove the red stain) and with his meal Alex had onion rings! Hehe. We got to the church and had to go our separate ways to get ready. The time was finally going by so fast! I hardly remember the next few hours...my dad was there to walk me down the aisle, and I remember that when he saw me he started crying. I was so focused on Alex though, he looked so proud and handsome standing up front waiting for me! The ceremony was a blur, but somehow I got all the words out right. Finally! We shared our first kiss and were officially and forever bound in marriage!! Then the shaking of hands, the hugs, and congratulations..even though all we really wanted to do was leave and make up for all those times we wanted to kiss but couldn't. There were pictures, and cake, and a rather dull bouquet and garter toss. Then we were off! The new Mr and Mrs ready to start our married life together. 

First kiss♥

The family

 
Life since then.
Since getting married Alex has become a full-time student. I finally got my license and have been thinking about looking for a job outside the home. We have also both talked to his ex, and are able to be friends again. She has moved on and is genuinely happy for us. I think that Alex is a wonderful person and I am beyond blessed that he loves me the way he does, I couldn't have asked for a better answer to all my prayers and girlish daydreams. I am so excited that I get to spend the rest of my life with him growing together in the Lord and learning to love each other even more!!