A soap box...

The other day I was reading a new book and I found myself very annoyed! The time period of the book was set back near the depression and one of the couples, the parents of three little girls, owned a store. As the book progresses the wife mentions that her husband won't let her work at the store because he wants her to be home for their children, and she talks about how irritating it is for her, says she'll try wearing him down and being persuasive to change his mind. Towards the end of the book you find out that she resorted to not having sex with him until he would give in, and he started sleeping at his office. Then her dad has a stroke and they are all concerned about losing him, and the couple realizes what a silly, minor thing they had been arguing about. They both apologize....and then the husband gives in and tells the wife she can work at the store! Maybe I sound kind of silly to some of you readers, but that made me so mad! The whole underlying situation (this couple was just part of the supporting cast of characters) during the book irritated me. Not just the wife's bad attitude about agreeing to her husband's wishes, but then that the situation would end because he gave her what she wanted? It would have been a whole different thing had she approached him and talked about how she felt useless at home doing nothing while the girls where at school, and after hearing her, he agreed that a few hours a week would be okay. But that she was manipulative and disagreeable until he gave in? It upset me...a lot. And I know that that kind of thing happens a lot, even in Christian couples (as this couple was portrayed to be). But I don't think it's right that this is accepted -and even encouraged- behavior for women.

And if you can't tell by now: I am very opinionated when it comes to a wife obeying her husband. I think that she needs to obey him regardless of what he tells her to do and how she feels about it. The only exception is if he is telling her to do something that goes against biblical principles. I know that this is probably a very unpopular opinion, especially in a world where "women are equal". It is my belief that it's not wrong for the woman to talk to her husband -with a proper attitude- if she is unhappy or has doubts about a decision he has...but if she talks to him and he doesn't change his mind? End of story. She should obey him anyway. And the physical relationship between them should never, ever be used as a bargaining chip.

As for myself, I honestly don't know why it's such a difficult idea to understand and accept that the man was made and put in a position of authority over a woman. (Her father, and then her husband) To me its a relief that with most things I'm not the one that has the huge responsibility of making the final decision, and though there are times when I have to share the consequences if it was a bad decision, I feel secure in knowing that I did the right thing in obeying and supporting my husband. I haven't had any reason to regret it yet, and Alex and I have a wonderful marriage. I know that he loves me and that regardless of how his decisions may annoy me at the time (My hormonal, pregnant self asking "Why shouldn't I get to have fast food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?") I realize that he does want what's best for me and that I make his burden of responsibility that much easier by being submissive.