Miracles happen: A birth story

So much has happened since my last post! I'll try to catch you all up.

39 week belly

I went in to the doctor's for my 39 week appointment, just two days before my scheduled c-section, and while I was there the doctor ordered an ultrasound, just to check where the baby was. Much to all of our surprise, Berry was head down! So, the c-section was canceled and I was scheduled for an induction on the 30th. But the doctor said she didn't really trust the baby to stay head down, and that I should go ahead an fill out all the paperwork for the surgery. I went home that day kind of nervous, and very excited! Nervous that the baby wouldn't stay that way and it would mean we had waited an extra day for nothing, or that I would go into labor and be in labor for hours only to have a c-section anyway, or that if the baby had flipped again maybe we could try having the doctor turn him/her manually and then induce labor, or that the induction would fail....there were just so many scenarios going through my head. Alex pretty much laughed and told me that either..I would have a natural birth like we had hoped for, or I would have a c-section, like I had been prepared for for a few weeks anyway. So my fears were pretty silly. Let me tell you, his response was just what I needed!
 We spent the next few days making sure we really had everything ready for the baby, and just enjoying our uninterrupted time together.

Thursday night I couldn't really sleep, not only was my carpal tunnel bothering me, I was just so anxious about  the next morning that my mind wouldn't slow down enough for me to sleep. We were told to call labor and delivery at 5am on Friday to see if they were ready for us. So Alex had the alarm set...I have never been so ready to have an alarm go off so early in the morning! We gave them a call and they said for me to eat a light breakfast and come on in around 6:30am. So, I got up and showered, ate a bowl of cereal, we grabbed the hospital bags, took one last belly picture, and were on our way!

39 weeks 3 days, last Berry belly shot.

When we got to the hospital they showed me to my room and had me put on a gown. A gown that had so many snaps and ties that Alex and I weren't even sure I had it on properly. About 15 minutes later a nurse came in and hooked up all the machines. A heart monitor for the baby and a monitor to measure my contractions I suppose. So we sat in the room for another 10-15 minutes listening to the baby's heartbeat and just waiting. Eventually the nurse came back in and looked at the readings from the machines and asked me if I was feeling the contractions. I was really surprised! I had not been given anything to induce the labor yet, and had absolutely no idea I was already having contractions! I felt nothing except baby moving, but apparently I had had 3 or 4 of them. A few minutes later my doctor came in with an ultrasound machine to check Berry's position one last time before the induction. Berry was head up again!! So we started talking about options while she looked at the readings from my monitor. She was concerned though because every time the reading showed a contraction the baby's heart rate dropped some. That and the fact that s/he had flipped so easily pretty much eliminated the choices for an induction or trying to manually move the baby. The doctor decided we would try a few things to improve the heart rate, so I was put on oxygen, and given an IV for fluids. They also took blood for labwork in case of a c-section. So I sat there for a few minutes with all this going on, Alex was sitting across the room just watching and smiling at me whenever I looked over. I was sure I looked crazy, suddenly having all these machines and the oxygen, it had all happened so fast! The baby's heart rate was still dropping during contractions so my doctor came back in and asked us what we thought of scheduling a c-section for that day. I was all for it! Baby was obviously not staying head down, seemed to be in some sort of minor distress, and I was just getting impatient to meet our little one. When they asked me when I had last eaten and I told them that I had eaten breakfast they all seemed a little concerned. They don't like having anything in the stomach during a surgery. Eventually we were told that we had to wait a few hours because of the food, and that the surgery was scheduled for 5pm. I was a bit disappointed that we would be sitting in the hospital just waiting for so long, but so excited that Alex and I were finally going to meet our baby.
About 10 minutes passed, maybe a few more, and my doctor came back in the room and said that because we were going to do a c-section anyway, and because the baby's heart rate was still showing slight distress during contractions, we were going to go ahead and do the surgery as soon as possible, that there was no point in putting it off. After that everything went so fast!!! Alex was given a set of scrubs to wear in the surgery room, an anesthesiologist came in and gave me some nasty acidic drink to help counteract the food in my stomach, and about five minutes later I was on a gurney being wheeled back to surgery. Alex would be brought in after I was prepped.
When we got in the room I noticed that it looked very...cold and sterile. So much metal and harsh lights, and I also saw the tray of tools that was set out. I was transferred from the gurney to a rather narrow little table, and the anesthesiologist, Scott, came in to do the spinal, my doctor and another nurse were standing in front of me with their hands on my shoulders, or patting my hand giving encouragement through the whole procedure. As I was sitting there I noticed that my legs were having spasms that I couldn't control. It was nerves, even though I didn't feel nervous. I was just excited, and probably a bit overwhelmed. The nurse noticed, so they got a warm blanket and put it over me. The spinal was a bit painful, but not too bad. I was sitting on the edge of the table, and had to bend over as far as my belly would allow, put my chin to my chest, and arch my back. Scott said "Sharp pain, like a bee sting" and I felt the needle poke me. What was unexpected was a few seconds later a blanket of a deep ache spread over my back for a minute or so. Scott then said he had to try again, the spot he had found was too bony. So again: deep breath, arched back, sharp sting, and sudden ache...then my legs started to tingle, and in the minute or so it took them to move the blanket and tell me to turn and lay down, my legs felt way too heavy to lift. Once I was laying down a couple nurses started prepping the incision area, and a big blue curtain was strung up at my shoulder level. I also had my arms pulled out to the side and strapped onto boards. I was told it was so I wouldn't try to help. I also had my oxygen mask back on. Soon Alex was brought in and stood by my head, I asked him to hold my hand, and then mentioned that they had to do the spinal twice. Right about then I felt like my whole body was being jostled, when Alex asked if it hurt I told him it was like going over a really bumpy drive way, and not at all painful. Right then Alex asked if I would mind if he stood up to see and I told him just not to pass out. He stood up just in time to see them to break the water and he mentioned to me that it was a lot of fluid.
Less than a minute later I heard the nurses and doctor "Look at that cord!" "The cord is wrapped around his neck twice!"
Alex leaned over, grin on his face "We have a boy."
They had Alex go over to look at the baby while they cleaned him off and soon I could hear little Jacob crying. I started tearing up at that point. I had such an uncertain start to the pregnancy, and a stressful last few weeks, but mine and Alex's baby was actually here safe and sound and -they soon told me- perfectly healthy. A few more minutes passed, Jacob crying the whole time, then they brought him over to see me. He was held up by my face and my first thought was "He's so perfect!" I said hi to him and kissed his forehead and they whisked him away again, Alex followed them after kissing my forehead and squeezing my hand.

Our first face-to-face meeting

I was in the surgery room for another 20 minutes or so, and I just laid there listening to the doctor and nurses talking. At one point they said that with the cord being how it was a natural birth would never have worked, even if Jacob had stayed head down. Chances were, if we had tried, he wouldn't have made it. At best, I would have ended up with an emergency c-section anyway.
Soon I was being wheeled to a recovery room, and just a few minutes later I saw Alex walking toward me carrying a tiny little bundle. I finally got to hold my baby!!

He was a lot smaller than anyone expected at 6lbs 9oz, 19 inches long. My tiny little guy has a full head of blonde hair, loves to smile- especially when he's napping and can hear his daddy talking, and loves to eat and sleep.
We've been home since last Sunday and it seems crazy that it's been a week already! My recovery has been pretty slow, so I'm still not able to actually do very much. Alex has been a huge help though, and such a good Daddy. You would never know that his first time changing a diaper was at the hospital! He's also an expert swaddler. I really just don't know how I would be managing if he weren't here.

We're so thankful that our precious "Berry" is here now, safe and sound and healthy. We're loving being parents despite the occasional frustrations and little less sleep than normal. It will be such a blessing, and a responsibility, to take care of and train this little guy as he grows up.

So much hair!

Such a sweet smile!

I love my handsome men!

December baby...it's official!

Two weeks ago at my 36 week appointment I was measuring ahead for the first time this pregnancy. The doctor wasn't very concerned but told me they would schedule an ultrasound with my next appointment to check Berry's growth. She added "I don't know if you realize this, but you are actually quite small."  So we scheduled the 37 week check and an ultrasound.

That weekend a 3D ultrasound/prenatal massage place here in town was having an open house to celebrate opening at a new location, and they were having free five minute ultrasounds and massages. So of course I went! The lady who was doing the massage started rubbing my back and said "Wow! you're really tiny! That's definitely all baby out front!" I have to admit it surprised me to have gotten two such comments in one week. I have never considered myself to be small...just short. When we got the ultrasound we discovered that Berry is definitely head up. The bump that I have mentioned frequently sticking out right beside my belly button? That's where the tech had her wand for us to be watching Berry's face.

This week my appointment was on Tuesday at exactly 37 weeks. My doctor was on vacation so I was seeing someone new. It ended up being a crazy day! The appointment started at 2:05pm....we didn't get home until 4:00. We were in the waiting room for about half an hour before being called back for the ultrasound. The first 10 minutes or so we didn't get to see anything because we told the tech we want baby's sex to be a surprise, so she just left the big screen off. When she did turn it on she showed us that Berry has a full head of hair and then got a few very clear shots of the face. I was thrilled to see that baby has his/her daddy's chin and mouth, and that all the heartburn wasn't for nothing (if you can believe the old wives tales about heartburn and hair growth being connected. Which I personally don't ;) ) After the ultrasound we were sent back to the waiting room until the doctor was ready. Again, a 20 or 30 minute wait and then a nurse came out to get me and told me that the doctor had ordered a non-stress test for the baby. I knew this meant something was a little off, but didn't feel too worried. Spent the next 20 minutes in a recliner with monitors strapped to my belly and a little button I had to push whenever I felt Berry moving...which was often. Once that was done we were finally taken back to a room! Where we ended up waiting for another 20 minutes or so. Poor Alex was getting a bit frustrated, and I can certainly sympathize. Who wants to spend hours waiting? He felt like the nurses and doctors shouldn't have so crowded their schedules that nothing was done in a timely manner. When the doctor finally came in she seemed a bit flustered and stressed out. She sat down and pretty much said "We're confused."
Berry had weird measurements. The head was measuring about two weeks ahead, and the body about two weeks behind. Both measurements being within the two  or three week error margin but the fact that they were so far off from each other had the doctor flabbergasted. She said that Berry is still breech and that sometimes that can make the head measure larger because it's not down in the pelvic bone. She also told me that I have extra fluid. But the stress test numbers were really good and from the ultrasound it is obvious that Berry is eating well and swallowing, his/her weight being estimated at about 6lbs 1oz right now. So their answer was "We have no idea what's going on, but it doesn't really look like there's anything to worry about, Things are just weird." So I'll be doing the non-stress test every week at my dr appointments and they'll just keep a close eye on things.

Because Berry is in breech position though, they went ahead and scheduled a c-section for me. If I haven't gone into labor on my own by the 29th of December I will be going in for a c-section. It seems so crazy to me that we have a definite date for when our baby will be here! I know I can't wait to meet our precious little one, and I'm not even too upset that Berry won't have his/her own birthday...(my baby sister is turning 13 on the 29th.) I'm just praying for a healthy/happy baby and will do and/or go through whatever seems necessary to reach that goal.

A Christmas post!

It's one of my favorite times of year! I love the Christmas season. I love the family get togethers, the traditions, the seasonal drinks (egg nog, peppermint mochas, flavored coffee..can you say "Mmmm!"?) the excitement and joy of gift giving. So, I started the end of November coming up with ideas for gifts I could make. Being in the last stages of pregnancy I needed something that would keep me busy without being too physically taxing. Also, I love homemade gifts! For me its the idea of putting extra time and thought into finding and making something I think the intended recipient would really love or enjoy that makes them better. So, here are a few pictures of what I came up with and have gotten done. A couple of these are for younger sisters so "shhh" don't tell them!

I made this wreath for Mom. She wanted one for the ranch house.

"Bath time sundae" Bath salts, loofa, and cherry lip gloss

Rather self-explanatory

Cocoa stirrer. Marshmallow, chocolate, sprinkles.

Cocoa stirrer with candy cane for a peppermint cocoa

Homemade cocoa mix

More cocoa!

I've had so much fun putting all these together! And I liked the wreath so much I bought the supplies to make one for the apartment door.

What have you been busy with this holiday season?

Baby update, and other baby thoughts

33 week belly, I like this shot better than 34 weeks

How far along are you?  I am almost at 35 weeks. 
How big is baby? Baby weighs almost 5lbs and is almost 18" long.
Total weight gain: Umm, not really keeping track, except from appointment to appointment. I only gained a pound between my last two. I've probably gained ~25-30lbs total.
Maternity clothes? Yup! I just got some new jeans that I really like. All my skirts are a bit flimsy for fall and winter weather.
Sleep: I've just started having trouble sleeping in the last week or so. I have pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, so sleeping on my sides makes my shoulders hurt really bad, then my entire arm and hand of the side I'm sleeping on will go numb. I'm still getting enough sleep to function well though, so I'm not complaining!
Best moment this week: Wow, this week? Umm...I had my first comment from a stranger! Some lady saw me at the store and said "Wow, you look like you're due any day!" Haha
Gender: I'm actually getting quite impatient to know the answer to this myself. Some days I'm convinced Berry is a girl, other days I just know Berry is a boy.
Movement: Movement is rather frequent, but I have started noticing specific things causing more movement...like when Alex is talking, when there is music on -especially music with a steady beat, and when I drink cold water it seems to give Berry hiccups every time.
Belly Button in or out? Almost flat, actually.
Stretch marks?  I have plenty of stretch marks...more so on my right side where Berry likes to stick his/her bum out.
What I miss: I miss sleeping on my tummy, and being able to walk straight,lol. I have been waddling since about 24 weeks and it's even more pronounced now.
What I am looking forward to: Alex's birthday! And Christmas, then meeting Berry. I'm not sick of being pregnant yet, but I'm getting impatient to meet this little person.
Milestones: Well, I passed the 34 week mark, which (I am pretty sure) is the point that if I went into preterm labor the doctor's wouldn't try to stop it, as most babies can survive at this age with little difficulty.

I don't think there is really much else going on that's pregnancy related.
I have been getting tired more often again, but that's partially due to the fact that I haven't been sleeping well.
I developed a polyp on the back of my throat from constant sinus drainage. You know the feeling of having a tiny piece of food stuck in your throat? I have that constantly. I'm getting used to it now though, and it pretty much only bothers me first thing in the morning.
I have been able to make about 9 freezer meals for us to use after the baby is here. I think it will be nice to not have to figure out what to make for dinner every now and then.
Alex is almost done with this school term! He has this week and next left, and then he is off for a month. I know it would be a bit unusual for a first time mom, but I'm hoping baby comes soon after 37 weeks. Sometime during the break would be great!
Nursery is pretty much done. I like the way it turned out and the only thing I have left is figuring out how to keep KitKat out once baby comes.
I learned that going Black Friday shopping is an entirely different experience when 34 weeks pregnant. Getting up at 4:30am wasn't bad, the crowds weren't that terrible, the walking wasn't too tiring...but then my feet started to swell, and my shoes got too tight, and I developed blisters and cuts (from my toes being squeezed together). Luckily I had a pair of flip flops in the car and was able to just switch shoes. I got overheated pretty easily though, and enjoyed the cool weather on our trips to and from the car. I also, after about 4 hours, realized that my feet weren't used to my new weight putting pressure on them for such a long period of time and they started to protest. We got home after about 8-9 hours and I collapsed on a couch and could barely move the rest of the night. I was also amazed at how ravenously hungry I got 3 or 4 times that day.

Life has been busy and I have been enjoying it. I'm really excited about the holidays because I know the busyness will make the time go faster...Berry will be here before I know it!

My pregnancy advice to me.

Does anyone else talk to themselves? If not I might just end up sounding crazy by making this public, but here goes: I talk to myself. I tend to give myself mini pep talks, or give myself advice, or carry on plain ol' conversations with myself.

 Over the past few months I have had plenty of advice and/or thoughts on pregnancy. Some of it just being things that I have learned, some of it is things I wish I had figured out sooner, some things that I had decided before I ever got pregnant, and others are maybe a bit sarcastic.

~ Take it one day at a time.
~ Stop worrying so much.
~ You already knew that pregnancy could have side effects like nausea, backaches, and tiredness. You don't need to whine about it because people will likely think one of 3 things
    1) "She knew what causes pregnancy. It's her own fault she's dealing with it."
    2) "That much whining makes it seem like she doesn't realize what a blessing her baby is. She should be a lot happier about being pregnant"
 or 3) "Drama queen."
~ You may have friends who have experienced the loss of a child or are trying to get pregnant, so it would be more considerate of you to not have constant updates on facebook about your cravings, baby movements, funny little pregnancy quotes, etc.
~ Eventually you will adjust to not being able to sleep on your tummy...eventually.
~ Pretty much anything unusual that your body does during this time is normal for pregnancy.
~ "When baby moves you'll just know that's what it is." isn't always correct, so don't stay up all night crying and worrying because you don't know for sure. The little flutterings are, in fact, the baby.
~ Really, don't worry so much.
~ Don't focus on the numbers on the scale, you've had enough problems with that in the past. If the doctor says you're doing okay, you're all good. Just make sure you and your baby are getting the nutrients and vitamins you need. You can't have a

big mac

                                                                           or

cheese danish

for every meal!

~ Enjoy being pregnant, it does start to seem like it's going by really fast!
~ Just because you can still see your toes at 33 weeks doesn't mean you can do everything you did before getting pregnant. It's okay to take it easy every now and then.
~ When you are pregnant the fact that hubby wants a bowl of cereal could be considered a legitimate excuse for crying...but that doesn't mean you won't feel like a complete idiot later for doing so.
~ I know you love seeing and feeling the baby move, but that doesn't mean everyone else wants to be told about it or encouraged to watch for it every time.
~ Make sure the daddy feels involved, but make sure he wants to know every little detail and possibility before you overload the poor guy. (Disclaimer: My hubby has been amazing and wonderful, and though I have asked to be sure I'm not giving him info overload or bugging him by always talking about our baby, he has not once been upset or frustrated at me for my seemingly one track mind)
~ Make sure you still let your hubby know that he is also very important and special to you, and that you appreciate all the little ways he helps and spoils you. (Like that midnight run for cherry 7up, or the back massage when you forgot that you have physical limitations...)
~ I know that none of your normal clothes fit (even the elastic waistbands!) and you are already waddling when you walk, but that doesn't mean you don't look beautiful.
~ Your tummy will never be that perfectly round little tummy you've seen in pictures. By the time baby is big enough for you to look pregnant, s/he is also big enough to stick their bum out in one spot and cause you to be lopsided.
~ One more time - don't worry so much, enjoy your pregnancy!!

I think that's pretty much all for now. Do you have anything to add? What's your favorite pregnancy advice?

Baby update, and life.

It has been a while since I did a baby update, so I thought I might take the time this evening, just in case anyone is interested :)

How big is baby? At 29 weeks the average baby is about 15 inches long, and weighs almost 2 and a half pounds. I can say for sure that baby is getting big enough that when s/he stretches I can feel and see it.
Total weight gain: ~20lbs. I'm thankful that my doctor has specifically said that she is more concerned with health than numbers on a scale. And I passed my glucose test with flying colors! So I'm trying not to feel bad about gaining more than I wanted to...I can work on getting rid of it once baby is here.
Maternity clothes? Honestly I'm getting tired of wearing what feels like the same 5 outfits over and over. But, at least now people can actually tell I'm pregnant!
Sleep: Some nights I sleep very well, other nights I toss and turn all night. It usually helps to have the room slightly chilly.
Best moment this week: Even though it is slightly uncomfortable, I love when Berry stretches out. Basing my assumptions on the last few ultrasounds and the way my tummy gets stretched, Berry's favorite way to stretch out is with the back of his/her head on the right side of my belly button, and I can usually feel the legs (I think) all the way to under my left arm. It made Alex and I laugh the other night because my tummy looked so distorted.
Gender: is still unknown, though when talking to each other Alex and I usually say "he".
Movement: Is very regular, and tends to be more hyper and strong in the evening and around bedtime.
Belly Button in or out? Still in, barely
Stretch marks? Mhmm, and I seem to be getting more of them daily.
What I miss: Actually, I miss my long hair. I want my bangs to grow out so I can keep them out of my face, and I want to put my hair in a ponytail.
What I am looking forward to: actually meeting the baby! As far as things not concerning pregnancy, one of my best friends will be arriving tomorrow and I'm really excited about it!!
Milestones: Umm, I don't know of any major ones. I think that by this point all that's left for baby to do is layer on the fat and get a bit bigger. And s/he must be developing stronger bones because I have been drinking a lot of milk.

I still haven't really had any consistent cravings. Life cereal usually makes me pretty happy, and I no longer want pizza every other meal. The last few days I had been craving pancakes and my sweet husband made some for me this morning.
My belly is getting bigger a lot faster than it was, and I actually feel like I look pregnant sometimes, though I still forget on occasion and try to sit up too fast, which causes a weird pull in my tummy.
Pretty much my one complaint with the whole pregnancy is that the hormones seem to have caused dry patches of skin on my face that will sometimes itch like crazy. The dr prescribed cortisone, which I have been using to keep it from getting terrible, but there are still some days when I look like I have been through a war because of all the red splotchiness around and under my eyes.

29 week belly!

In other news...

Today Alex and I took KitKat in to get him declawed. I felt so terrible! KitKat has always been an inside cat, leaving the house all of 2 times in his life. Once when he was neutered, and once when Alex and I moved him here. He was so lost and frightened and was crying the whole way to the vet. I felt like crying too, but decided that the last thing Alex needed before 8 in the morning was a scared, crying cat, and a crying, hormonal, pregnant woman in the vet's office.  We get to pick KitKat up tomorrow and I am really hoping he isn't too traumatized.

Today after Alex got home from school he also helped me re-arrange the livingroom. He'll be moving his school desk out here for now, because we don't think it will work to have it stay in the baby's room. We were going to just leave it in there longer, but with my friend Christa staying here for a week in the spare room, we figured now would be a good time. (Plus, I'm just a bit impatient to feel like I have something completely ready for the baby. Because right now there isn't one thing we have fully done,lol.)  Also we have a new, smaller, dining room table, and we got bar stools for the breakfast bar. I like the way it turned out!

I guess that's all for now. It had been a while since I've updated, and I was actually sort of in a writing mood tonight. Maybe someday I'll get back to writing more often...but I'm not making any promises!

A soap box...

The other day I was reading a new book and I found myself very annoyed! The time period of the book was set back near the depression and one of the couples, the parents of three little girls, owned a store. As the book progresses the wife mentions that her husband won't let her work at the store because he wants her to be home for their children, and she talks about how irritating it is for her, says she'll try wearing him down and being persuasive to change his mind. Towards the end of the book you find out that she resorted to not having sex with him until he would give in, and he started sleeping at his office. Then her dad has a stroke and they are all concerned about losing him, and the couple realizes what a silly, minor thing they had been arguing about. They both apologize....and then the husband gives in and tells the wife she can work at the store! Maybe I sound kind of silly to some of you readers, but that made me so mad! The whole underlying situation (this couple was just part of the supporting cast of characters) during the book irritated me. Not just the wife's bad attitude about agreeing to her husband's wishes, but then that the situation would end because he gave her what she wanted? It would have been a whole different thing had she approached him and talked about how she felt useless at home doing nothing while the girls where at school, and after hearing her, he agreed that a few hours a week would be okay. But that she was manipulative and disagreeable until he gave in? It upset me...a lot. And I know that that kind of thing happens a lot, even in Christian couples (as this couple was portrayed to be). But I don't think it's right that this is accepted -and even encouraged- behavior for women.

And if you can't tell by now: I am very opinionated when it comes to a wife obeying her husband. I think that she needs to obey him regardless of what he tells her to do and how she feels about it. The only exception is if he is telling her to do something that goes against biblical principles. I know that this is probably a very unpopular opinion, especially in a world where "women are equal". It is my belief that it's not wrong for the woman to talk to her husband -with a proper attitude- if she is unhappy or has doubts about a decision he has...but if she talks to him and he doesn't change his mind? End of story. She should obey him anyway. And the physical relationship between them should never, ever be used as a bargaining chip.

As for myself, I honestly don't know why it's such a difficult idea to understand and accept that the man was made and put in a position of authority over a woman. (Her father, and then her husband) To me its a relief that with most things I'm not the one that has the huge responsibility of making the final decision, and though there are times when I have to share the consequences if it was a bad decision, I feel secure in knowing that I did the right thing in obeying and supporting my husband. I haven't had any reason to regret it yet, and Alex and I have a wonderful marriage. I know that he loves me and that regardless of how his decisions may annoy me at the time (My hormonal, pregnant self asking "Why shouldn't I get to have fast food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?") I realize that he does want what's best for me and that I make his burden of responsibility that much easier by being submissive.