Creepy crawlies

 Yesterday Alex stopped the car as we were driving to a friends house and picked a small bunch of lilacs for me. He knows how much I love the smell of fresh lilac. When he got back in the car and handed me the stem I noticed a tiny spider hanging off of it. I shuddered and very quickly handed the flowers back to him.

"Get it off please! I hate spiders!"

Alex knocked the spider and it's thread off of the flower outside the car and then handed the bunch back to me. I gingerly grabbed it and was very slowly bringing it closer to smell it when I saw another spider! This one was a big white one sitting on top of the bouquet. I practically threw the lilacs back at Alex I was in such a hurry to get rid of them.

"I don't think I can keep them, Alex! It's just too nasty" *paused to shudder* "There were two of them! Maybe there's another one on there!" *shudders again*  "Thank you so much for the sweet gesture, but I can't keep them"

So Alex tossed the flowers onto the windshield and we watched them fly into the air as we started driving again. I love my husband, but I can't accept his spider infested flowers ;)

A simple jar

I just decided that I should get a cookie jar! Whenever I happen to make cookies they end up getting stored somewhere out of sight. "Out of sight out of mind" as the saying goes, and it seems to be quite true for Alex. Perhaps if I had a jar like this one where the cookies could be displayed he would remember them and help eat them all before they are stale.

Hmm, now I kind of want to make cookies!

Maybe.

I have a whole lot on my mind that I want to write about, but I am so tired tonight! So I'm going to try to write tomorrow...

My thought for the day

The Lord is my strength and song; He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him.
                                           ~Exodus 15:2a~

Pain and loss..

I just really don't know what I should say right now. Yesterday morning I got a call from my mom that my grandma had passed away. She had been battling liver cancer for two years, but two or three days ago she told my mom that she was tired of it, that she was ready to go.

I think I'm still kind of just in a state of shock. I don't really feel anything right now. Yesterday I cried off and on between talking to siblings and dealing with my own problems that I'm facing right now. I'm just so far away from my family and I don't feel like there's much that I can do to show my love and support right now.

But, life goes on, and time will lessen the hurt of loss.

Memories.

 My husband spoils me sometimes...okay, pretty much all the time! I really don't know how I can ever be good enough for my wonderful man...but that's not what I was planning on writing about.

This evening I wasn't really hungry, I didn't want to cook anything, and I just wanted some french fries and a chocolate frosty from Wendy's. (It seems strange to have to specify a chocolate frosty...things certainly do change with time!) So, my dear man took me to Wendy's and got me just that. I told Alex that the combination of frosty and fries always brings back a memory from quite a few years ago. My older sisters and I were part of a play at a community playhouse, and after the show ended one evening our dad came to pick us up. We hadn't had dinner yet so he took us through Wendy's drive thru. I remember he ordered medium frosties, a small fry, and an original chicken sandwich. The lady who was working  the drive thru turned on her speaker and said "I'm sorry, my headset wasn't working and I didn't catch any of that. Would you repeat your order please?" So my dad ordered large frosties, 2 medium fries, and a spicy chicken sandwich. All of us girls thought it was so funny that he had changed his order on every single item.

I don't know, it might not sound like such an amazing memory written down in such a way, but it was a good time, we were all laughing a lot that night on the drive home. I distinctly remember how happy I felt and the memory brings a smile to my face.

Now look at us, all grown up, but still laughing together!

Why should I worry?

 I have a tendency to worry, especially lately when there are things I want to go just so, even though I have no control over them. I have found myself clinging to these verses:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)


They have been just the reminder I need that I don't need to worry about things that I can't control. I need to take my worry to God and trust Him to do what is best for me. Why should I worry when The One who knows me better than I could know myself is taking care of me?

*sigh*

Blogger has been unavailable for the past few days because of them working out a few bugs, and I have now forgotten everything I had planned to write about.

What is love?

Warning: this may come out jumbled and confusing, but it's been on my mind today...

 Alex and I were talking the other day about love, and it seems to us that the concept has become misunderstood and the word is tossed around very easily. Maybe I have gotten the wrong impression, but from what I have picked up "love" is now often used in place of "lust".  I don't understand how it's possible to love someone when all you know about them is how they look, I don't know how you could truly love someone and yet still insist on having what you want over what they want or what is best for them on a regular basis, I don't know how you could love someone and still do something that you know will hurt them either physically or emotionally, or how you could love someone and be willing to use them and toss them aside.

 I didn't realize I had come to love Alex because I started getting butterflies in my tummy when I saw him, or because I was attracted to his smile and how he sounded when he laughed, not even when I started thinking about him all during the day and the best parts of my weeks were when he came over to hang out. I realized that what I was feeling was love when I wanted what was best for him, even if it meant I would never see him again. The idea of never seeing him again made me feel heartbroken, but I knew it would be worth it to me if I knew he was happy. I realized I loved him when I became so deeply affected by what he was feeling or how people treated him. I wanted to be able to take all the hurt and pain away even if it meant going through it myself.

 I have never doubted Alex's love for me, and not because he says the words "I love you." to me every day (though I would be lying if I said that the words don't matter) I know he loves me because of how he treats me, because of his willingness to help me be the best I can be, because of the times he gives up what he wants to cater to my wants, and, yes, even because of the times when he tells me I'm being foolish or that I need to change my attitude.

  I'm not saying that if it's truly love then physical appearances and emotional highs when the other person is around won't play a part. I'm not saying that if you love someone you will never hurt them, because people make mistakes and do hurtful things without realizing it. I'm not trying to say that if you love someone that you'll never get what you want because you're always catering to them. Partially because you will want what they want, and partly because if it's a mutual love they'll want what you want...thus having give and take on both sides. (That can become a whole other topic though)

I'm also not claiming to be an expert on the matter myself, but I get my information from the source that really matters, the one place that I know to be Truth. The Bible.

1Corinthians 13:1-8, and 13 sum it up rather clearly!
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
  
I know that some of these verses are well-known and often put on plaques and wall-hangings. But have you stopped lately to just think about what it really says?

Tomorrow...

...I will try to write a better post. But right now, I just really feel like I have nothing to say.

Wash your face!

My KitKat got yogurt on his nose and didn't realize it. He was so cute when I was trying to get him to lick it off. He just thought I wanted to give him some petting, and would rub his head on my hand. Isn't he adorable?

And then there were none.

 Last night I kind of wanted some chocolate, and I will ashamedly admit that I was whining just a little bit because we had none in the house. So my dear, sweet husband took me to wal-mart where we walked through the bakery, and the candy aisle, and the Easter candy clearance aisle. There wasn't really anything that I felt like I had to have. So we got milkshakes from McDonald's and sat in the parking lot watching people before heading home. Well, tonight we decided to go back and get a box of chocolates we had seen in the clearance aisle so we headed back to wally-world. We got to the Easter aisle and were surprised. It had been ransacked and left with rows of empty shelving where the chocolate had been. We had gone to pick up one kind in particular: Nutffles. Nutffles feature a choice of a whole hazelnut, peanut or almond in a creamy nut filling surrounded by a thin, crisp wafer covered in Belgian milk chocolate. Doesn't that sound amazing? Even better, they had been on sale, a pack of 24 for about $1.75. They were gone. The only choices left were marshmallow candies and gummy bunnies. Yick. Can you say "disappointed"?

This and that

I seem to be in a writing mood, but with no thought out topic readily available from the top of my head. Which leaves me to just write as I go...making this liable to be a very random/scattered post.

One thing that occurred to me last week (or was it two weeks ago?) when I was put on steroids for the sprain in my neck was that I started having a noticeable weight gain when I was put on steroidal nose spray for a sinus infection last year. Is there a connection? I may never know for sure.

I happen to have a love/hate relationship with dollar stores. They happen to be amazing, and I tend to spend more money than I ever first intend when I go in one. I think my favorite find recently has been 6yrd spools of ribbon. Wired ribbon, satin, grosgrain, 1/2", 2"..and in almost any color you could want! So much fun. I also like looking at the dishes. If they have the olive set again this fall Alex and I may just buy enough to make a set, they match our kitchen curtain so well! Can you resist the call of  "Everything's $1"?

Also, I just have to say my sister did a wonderful job on mine and Alex's wedding pictures (which I am still planning on posting more of someday) and I just can't get over how amazing this picture is!

Oh, and if you are like me and trying to avoid soda, or pop, or soda pop, or cola...or whatever you may call it: one of the best replacements I have found is club soda and a dark fruit juice. It still has a lot of sugars in it, but it's all natural sugars (as long as you use 100% juice) and tastes so good! Of course, I'm also happy with just the club soda, but not everyone can drink that.

And I'm quite tired and should stop rambling for now...

Individuality

 I was thinking earlier today about some of what makes each person an individual. The little quirks, habits, or pet peeves. They are the sort of thing that can either endear someone to you, or annoy you to no end. I have plenty of quirks myself!

I color code my hangers: shirts on white, pants on green, dresses on blue..etc. It's more of an obsessive compulsive thing. I did it once trying to straighten up my closet, and now I can't stand to have an article of clothing on the "wrong" hanger.

I often start singing if someone says something that reminds me of a song. It made me very happy when I discovered that Alex has the same quirk.

I love people watching and I make up stories about people in my head, or I try to figure out what they are feeling or thinking based on how they are acting.

I love late night cleaning! For some reason it's often 12-1am when I get my spurt of energy and sometimes I'll clean the whole apartment before going to bed.

Sometimes when I am listening to someone teaching, or just talking when they are long winded, I will start air writing what they are saying in cursive.

I don't sit still very well. I usually keep a pen and sketch paper in my purse so that I can keep my hands busy while sitting.

One of my pet peeves is when someone will snort instead of blowing their nose.

I actually asked one of my sisters earlier if she could think of any annoying habits I had...I'll admit I was relieved when the only one she could think of on the spot was that I'm not a huge fan of traditional Christmas music.

Do you have any unusual habits or pet peeves?

Contentment

So I want to ask you something. What do you base your happiness on? People? Money? Keeping up with the latest trends? School grades?

 Yesterday I was reminded of something very important: my happiness should be based solely on my Savior and what He has done for me. All the other things I have are blessings, something extra, things I don't deserve. I had been losing sight of what is actually important these past few days and Alex had to remind me. I was being so self-absorbed and becoming discontent, wanting things to change, wanting to control things I can't, worrying needlessly, etc. I am so grateful to have such a wise husband, one who is willing to tell me when I am being foolish!

Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name. 
Psalm 97:12 (NIV)


Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. 
Phillippians 4:11 (NKJV)

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." 
Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV)