Duck, duck, goose!

 Monday was a gorgeous sunny spring day, and Alex and I were babysitting for a friend, so we all went to the park. I hope you enjoy these pictures!

Not steak and potatoes.

 The other day I made some t-bone steaks for dinner. I didn't really have any idea what I was doing, but was so pleased with how they turned out I just had to take a picture. I didn't make potatoes to go with them though. For us it was a steamed broccoli, cauliflower, carrot medley.

When I tried to get the steak out of the pan, it literally just fell apart. Yay!

A sanctuary?

 Lately I have felt like my privacy is being invaded. It's because of a situation that I never really expected to face, never thought about, and something that I'm just not quite sure how to handle. You see, Alex and I live in an apartment complex, there are 4 apartments in one building and we recently had some neighbors move in right next to us. This young couple is not married, and yet they share things that are only meant to be shared with a spouse. I hurt for them, the world has so corrupted something that is supposed to be so pure and wonderful. I can only imagine how hard they try to convince themselves that they are happy. But at the same time, the fact that they have the lifestyle they do -and that the walls are so thin that I unavoidably hear what is going on next door- has changed my safe haven. My bedroom no longer feels like an escape, a sanctuary for Alex and I to be away from prying eyes, away from stress and worry, away from the rest of the world. Now I feel like there are invaders. I know that we may end up hearing our neighbors again at any point, and I don't want to. I think it would be different if they were another young married couple, I could perhaps laugh it off in embarrassment. But they're not, and I feel like they are making a mockery of what Alex and I have tried so hard to be a good example in: sexual purity and a marriage that shows the love of Christ and His bride...
  I can't seem to express very well what I feel. I don't feel angry at these people, I don't hate them, I don't wish them anything bad. I just want so much to help them, to have some way of telling them how hurtful what they are doing is, of telling them about how wonderful and happy things could be if they would just follow the clear guidelines our Creator has given us...

Encouragement and a challenge

    

  For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began, but has now been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
                            (2 Timothy 1:7-10 NKJV)

Pictures

I finished altering my dress! What do you think?

 

 

What I learned.

Yesterday Alex and I went and helped some friends butcher and wrap two elks. That was a lot of meat! With 5 or 6 grown men, 2 women, and 2 young girls it took us 8 hours! It was my first time ever doing anything like that and I think I learned a lot, so I decided to share.

~ I learned that blood and guts don't really bother me. Seeing a little bit of how everything works is fascinating.
~ I learned that I am enough shorter than everyone else that while their lower backs were sore and achy from bending over tables..it was my shoulder blade area that got all the twinges.
~ I learned that fresh raw meat smells nasty! I also learned that the smell seems to go away after a few hours.
~ No thank you, guys, I learned that handling big hunks of raw steak and roast does not make me want to take a big bite of it. Yucky!
~ When handling raw meat, I learned that the last thing I am craving to eat is meat..no, I wanted a milkshake or a cinnamon roll, maybe a nice, fresh, green salad. I was not thinking about steak and potatoes..
~ I learned that it still gives me butterflies in my stomach to see my Alex smile at me from across the room (or barn) and to realize that he is my husband!
~ I learned that dogs eat weird things and I'm very glad I'm not a dog.
~ I learned that some elk insides are sticky...like double sided tape.
~ I learned that I should really get a pair of muck boots.
~ I learned that one of my handfuls of ground meat cannot equal a pound if the handful of a guy with hands 3 times the size of mine equals a pound. One of us was wrong.
~ I learned that when I am with people I care about and love -even while having blood on my hands, straw and muck all over my shoes, being freezing cold, and bending over to wrap and bag seemingly never ending cuts of roast, steak, and ground meat- I can still have a good time.

Perhaps now you too have learned something new :)

Phone problems, car trouble, and a banana split.

  Today was very interesting. Alex and I planned to spend the afternoon in town browsing through antique stores and thrift shops. We got a bit of a late start and it was nearly 2 o'clock by the time we left. As we were leaving the mail was delivered, so we stopped to check our little mailbox. We had received only one thing: the cell phone bill. When Alex read it he saw that we had been charged an extra $100! Looking through the twenty pages they sent us we realized that I had been charged for every outgoing text to my dear friend Christa, who lives in Canada. I have been texting her pretty much daily for almost a year with no problem and suddenly the texts were being considered international messages and I was being charged 20 cents per outgoing text?? It didn't make sense to us so Alex called the customer service number. We discovered that they had changed their service and that unlimited texting no longer covers international text messages. "If you change your plan now we can take off what has already been charged onto your next bill. It will only be another $10 a month!" When we asked them about what was already charged they told us that Alex had been sent a text that they were changing things and therefore they could not do anything about the extra charges on the bill he just received. Huh. It seems I am starting to agree with the Sprint guy at the mall, "You know what T-mobile stands for? Terrible mobile!" We plan on switching providers as soon as we can do so without having to pay a fee to end our plan with T-mobile.


 So, to whom it may concern at T-mobile: You know those little alerts I get "This will cost you an extra fee, do you wish to continue?"  like when I try to get on the internet? That kind of alert would have been nice when you started charging money for international texts. Just a tip ;)

So, once we discovered that we would have to pay the extra charges on our phone bill -and that I should now use blackberry messenger to talk to Christa- Alex and I left for town. Almost as soon as we got off of our street his car's check engine light came on! After talking to Grandma and Mom and being told that it wasn't something we could just ignore, Alex called his mechanic. He found out that he would have to wait til Monday to be able to get it in for an appointment. So, he had another short chat with Mom and found out there was a place in town that could do an engine reading for free. After stopping by two different places and being told it was just an emission problem, Alex tightened the fuel tank cover and the light hasn't come on since! Praise the Lord it was just something small!


 Finally, around 4, we made it to the first antique shop. It was huge!! We barely even started looking around the place. There were all sorts of crazy things. Knives, jewelry, old egg beaters, desks, chairs, buttons, china, odd statues, vintage Mickey Mouse figurines, old spectacles, ladies gloves, hat pins, lamps, records...We almost got locked in because we were still looking around at closing time. All the shops downtown seem to close at the same time, so we didn't make it to more than that one. Here's just a fraction of the store:

 We had been walking around the antique shop for about a half an hour when we decided to go to the old pharmacy in town and get phosphate sodas. (I discovered that phosphates are not the same as Italian sodas...though I am still unsure of the difference) The pharmacy was really busy! They have an old fashioned soda fountain set up in the middle. A long wooden counter with spinning bar stools the whole way around it and the drinks and ice cream, and the people who make and serve them, in the middle. All the seats were filled though, so while waiting for some to open up Alex and I wandered around the store.

He does like bacon a lot..this was a bacon cookbook!

We found a shark hat..it was difficult to see out of!

  Once there were seats open Alex and I ordered our 25 cent sodas. I got banana pineapple, and Alex got cherry lime. His was better, hehe. We then decided to share a banana split too, it had been so long since either of us had had one. It started out picture perfect, but I forgot to take one until we had already started eating.

 Anyway, today ended up being rather nice, despite how it started. We came home and watched a movie, I cut Alex's hair (my first time ever cutting someone's hair!! Maybe I'll post pictures later) and just had a nice relaxing evening. Alex and I have very much enjoyed all our time together this week that he has had off from school. Tomorrow we may go help butcher some elk!

...

Some days I'm just not sure what to say...

I still care.

 Sometimes it hurts to care so much about other people. Those times when someone briefly touches my life, but not in a positive way. Those people who are obviously so lost, who try to appear as if they don't care. Who try to make it seem like they have life by the horns and are enjoying every minute of the ride. For seem reason I never see them that way though, I see someone who is hurting and maybe not even admitting it to themselves. For example, the guy who flipped Alex and I off yesterday while trying to pass us on a busy section of highway. I don't even know how to explain it...I guess I just wonder what would make someone get to that point that they are so flippant and do crude/mean things. That they don't even stop to think about the impression they'll leave on someone they don't even know. *sigh*  I don't know if I'm even making sense at this point.

I also want to help people I do know. I want to befriend people, to just be there for them, to be someone who is willing to just listen, to be able to give advice if asked for it, etc. But there are many times when I get ignored or brushed over. It hurts having to see people I love hurting themselves -and the people who love and care about them- and not knowing how to do anything to stop it. I want to help, I want to fix things, I want to change things. But I don't know what to do...sometimes it hurts to care so much, but I still care.

Spring break, lemon pies, and a *pop!* *fizz*

  I have to say that I am very excited for the next week! Alex finished up all his schoolwork for this term and now he doesn't have to do school until the 28th! We plan to take advantage of every free minute to spend together. One of the days next week we're going to visit the antique shops downtown, the thrift stores, quilt shops, and the old pharmacy where we can get a phosphate soda for a quarter! A different day we'll probably drive up to the nearest big town and spend a day at the mall, maybe try on weird clothes, and laugh at how expensive clothes are at mall stores. *Happy sigh* I'm also looking forward to getting to sleep until I'm not tired anymore! These past few days Alex has been working really hard at getting his schoolwork done, we had a couple very late nights, followed by an insistent alarm after what seemed like hardly enough sleep. I can't bear to lay in bed and keep sleeping when he has been so diligent about getting up and working, so I've been getting up with the alarm too. I'm very proud of my hard-working husband!

  I also discovered that there is something about lemon pies...I just can't get one to turn out right! I have tried three different times in my life, each and every time the lemon part doesn't set up. I was rather bummed because the meringue was beautiful on this last one! It still tastes good, even if it is runny, and the meringue part is super sticky because of how many days it sat in the fridge trying to set up.

  You know what else? I am apparently not meant to handle older sewing machines. I had a friend give me a sewing machine last week because of all the projects I have been working on. She wasn't sure if it was in working condition or not, so the other night I tried messing around with it for an hour or so. The dial for the bobbin tension is broken off so I have no way of knowing what it's set at. I'm also not very experienced with fixing sewing machines, or knowing what they are supposed to be set at. So after a while of having it seem to be working then suddenly the top thread snapping and flying away, I put the machine away. I'm hoping to take it in to get an estimate this coming week.
 So, today I stopped by Mom and Grandma's house to say hi, and while I was there I asked if I could borrow their sewing machine. They said that would be fine, and I carted it back up the hill with me. I was excited to get started on altering my dress. (The one I mentioned a few posts ago.) I should have known the the little exposed wire in the cord was more than a minor problem when I tried plugging the machine in and the needle immediately started moving up and down, as if someone was standing on the presser foot! No, I just moved things around a little bit then started threading the machine. Suddenly there was a loud *pop* and a flash right where the cord plugged into the sewing machine. The light above the presser foot flashed, then went out, and sparks flew at me. I watched them fizz out on the carpet and just hunched my shoulders feeling a bit of despair. The cord fizzing out had also flipped a breaker, which I didn't realize until I went to fix dinner and the refrigerator light didn't come on. I got the breaker flipped back though, and had dinner ready by the time Alex got home. After we ate, we walked down and told Grandma I had blown up her machine. She explained that it was actually her mom's machine and has been around for about 64 years! It probably was quite ready for the cord to be replaced. My smart husband is going to cut off the shorted ends, strip off some of the wire casing, and re-wire it to the plug. One of these days I will get that dress finished.

Meanwhile, we're gonna relax, eat some pie with a spoon, and watch a movie together!

Marshmallows?

Do you ever think about the different kinds of friends you have? Do you have different ways you describe them? I have my best friend, really good friends, and "fluffy" friends. No, I don't mean fluffy as in fat...I mean they remind me of marshmallows (and I will admit, it's a term my sister used first) It fits so well!

Alex is my best friend. I tell him everything -the good and the bad- and he knows me like no one else ever has or will. He understand me better than others do, and he loves me in a way no one else could.

I have a couple of really good friends, the ones that I talk to about my struggles, the ones who I don't just say "I'm fine" to when they ask me how I am. The friends who have been there for me and prayed for me even when things got tough or if I complained to them, etc. They're willing to tell me when I have a problem that I'm not seeing, and they're willing to give me a kick in the butt if I need it. 

The fluffy friends are the people I know that when we happen to get together we always get along just fine, maybe we'll talk about the weather and trade a few minor complaints, meet up for coffee every once in a while. Maybe we'll exchange texts and of course we'll always mention how we should get together again soon. But there's not really a real relationship. There's not much substance there, and little value besides making things a bit sweeter on occasion, like a marshmallow.

Anyway, that might not have even made sense, but I have been thinking about friendships a lot. The term seems to have changed since facebook. And I guess I've sort of been wondering...what kind of a friend am I? What kind of a friend do I want to be?

A short note..

I have had a few posts brewing in the back of my mind. Yesterday I thought about writing, but I was so tired yesterday, and kind of grumpy, and in a clingy mood...I decided I would wait. I might have time later today, but I have to get started on dinner! We have friends coming over here for dinner and Bible study this evening. I'm making white bean &chicken chili, cheddar biscuits, and lemon meringue pie (after all it is pi day ;) I also have to get the apartment cleaned...we'll just have to see if I write more later!

Bits of spring

 I found a new craft to keep me busy the past few days. I started making fabric flowers! They take a lot of time since I'm doing all the sewing by hand, but they're so cute when they're done! I had so much fun going to the store and picking out fabric squares. I don't have enough sewing supplies to make many more though. I'm almost out of thread, and only have a few buttons left. You know when you buy a new shirt or dress and it comes with the extra button just in case you lose one? Well, those were the only buttons I had, hehe. Anyway, here are just a few pictures of the flowers I've made.

Tiny sunflower :)

I put some on a headband. I plan to make a few more of these..

Raw and unedited..

There seem to be two songs that have been going through my head lately: "Praise You In This Storm" and "Stained Glass Masquerade" by Casting Crowns. it feels almost like it could have been me who wrote the words. It would be crazy to try to convince myself, and others, that I haven't been struggling lately. It seems like a lot of things have been negatively affecting my attitude. One of the major things is my weight gain, which is most likely related to other health issues (that seem to have a new symptom added on everyday) I have found myself spending almost every waking moment wondering what in the world is going on with my body.

That's not the only thing though, I have also spent the last few months wrestling with giving up what I want and instead letting God give me what He wants -what He knows is best for me. Every day I have to wake up and make the choice to give up my own desires, and it's not always easy. Some days I do so much better than others. Some days end with me crying in Alex's arms because I get so tired of dealing with my own feelings.

Still, I know that every day, despite what I feel emotionally, my God deserves my praise, and my love; because even if I were to never receive another thing from Him, He has already given me more than I deserve or could ever repay.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is...It's just me being real and saying what's on my mind I guess.

My first attempt...

...At jewelry making! It was a lot of fun, though time consuming.

It's been a long time!

Yesterday, I was talked into sketching something. I was actually quite happy that it happened because it's the first time I've even picked up a pencil with the intent of drawing since I designed my wedding dress. (which was how many months ago?!?!) Anyway, though I'm not completely happy with how it turned out, I just thought I would share with you all. I am hoping to start sketching more often again.

Here it is! This also happens to be the first sketch I could sign with my new name!! (though I covered my last name for posting purposes)

Pencil sketch on heavyweight paper

Restless

I am in such a restless mood tonight! I've had no energy all day, and just felt very tired...probably due to not feeling quite myself the past few days and a weekend of very late nights. But now it's 12 o'clock at night and I want to get something done. Oh, I'm not saying that I didn't get anything accomplished today. Even though Alex and I slept in rather late, we got his car cleaned out (which has been our list of things to do for a month or more) and will probably get it vacuumed sometime this week. I got the apartment cleaned up, and my last load of laundry is in the dryer as I'm typing this. I just keep jumping from one thing to the other. I tried to watch an old movie with Frank Sinatra in it, but stopped it less than half way through. I tried writing in my journal, but after a page worth my mind just seemed to go blank and I couldn't think of anything worthwhile to add. Saturday I bought an adorable dress that almost has a 50's retro look to it. White polka dots on black fabric, it has a fitted bodice with a v-neck and rounded collar, full circle skirt, and deep pockets on the front. It even came with a cute shiny black belt. The trouble is, that this dress is not shaped for me. I have sewn before and I figured it wouldn't be much of a problem to take in the sides and back a little, and take up the shoulders a few inches. Silly me. I have no idea what I'm doing, I can't pin the shoulders evenly while it's on me, and I'm not really liking how I look in it. *sigh*

So, now I'm sitting here drinking plain mint tea and listening to music. I still have no idea what to do...though I should probably just go to bed.

A seemingly small act of kindness...

Today Mom came back inside, after she had already left church, and handed me a grocery sack. "I saw this while I was shopping the other day and just had to get it for you!!" She gave me a quick hug and left. I was very surprised when I opened it and saw a brand new box of letter writing stationary! I had been looking everywhere for full page papers, and hadn't really found any. The stationary is a fresh cream color with a bright navy blue border. I'm so excited to get a chance to write a letter on it!!! I have such a wonderful mother-in-law!!! 

Success!

  I know I seem to be thinking/talking about food a lot recently, but, I said the other day that I was going to try making more cinnamon apple bread, so I figured I would let y'all know that I did. I couldn't find the recipe I had used the first time, so I did a google search and I ended up using this recipe. The reviews made me nervous about following 'as is', so I did end up making a few tweaks. I also was reminded that I only have one bread pan, and no bread tray...so I used a bundt cake pan. Once it was done baking I let it cool slightly then drizzled warm caramel on top and sprinkled it with chopped pecans. it turned out pretty good! There's no way just Alex and I are eating the whole thing though, so I'm pretty sure we'll be taking it to church tomorrow to share.

Really?!

I just almost cried while watching a tv show episode. Really?! I have never ever cried during a movie or tv show, ever. No matter how sad or heartbreaking it was. Why now? So strange...

I need a better name for this!

So, one of the days this week I made a casserole that I came up with while experimenting with different recipes...what do I call it though? "Sadie's Casserole" sounds rather lame. Anyway, I thought I would share the recipe.
Disclaimer: almost all measurements are approximate.

Brown 1lbs of ground meat in a large pan (beef or sausage work best)

Cook ~1lbs of pasta (I prefer penne) Drain and set aside.

Have ready two 14oz cans of diced tomatoes (stewed tomatoes are pictured, but I discovered that the flavor was better when I used diced. Either will work), and 2 cups chopped spinach (I used frozen). Mushrooms are optional.

If using mushrooms, chop them into bite sized pieces.

Once the meat is cooked, add tomatoes and mushrooms (if using)

Then add the spinach

Stir in cooked pasta

Sprinkle in ~2tsp garlic powder, ~1 1/2 tsp cumin, and a dash or two of cayenne pepper

Mix well, and let simmer on low heat.

Preheat oven to 350

Use 8oz of cream cheese, softened. Add ~1 cup of sour cream

Add garlic, onion powder, cumin, and parmesan cheese to taste

Use a hand mixer to blend.

Beat until smooth

Spread half of the cheese mixture in the bottom of a 2qt baking dish

Put noodle mixture in the dish.

Spread remaining cheese mixture on top of the noodles

Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese

Bake ~20minutes, or until heated through and cheese turns golden brown

Allow the casserole to cool for a few minutes before serving.

Enjoy! :)