There seem to be two songs that have been going through my head lately: "Praise You In This Storm" and "Stained Glass Masquerade" by Casting Crowns. it feels almost like it could have been me who wrote the words. It would be crazy to try to convince myself, and others, that I haven't been struggling lately. It seems like a lot of things have been negatively affecting my attitude. One of the major things is my weight gain, which is most likely related to other health issues (that seem to have a new symptom added on everyday) I have found myself spending almost every waking moment wondering what in the world is going on with my body.
That's not the only thing though, I have also spent the last few months wrestling with giving up what I want and instead letting God give me what He wants -what He knows is best for me. Every day I have to wake up and make the choice to give up my own desires, and it's not always easy. Some days I do so much better than others. Some days end with me crying in Alex's arms because I get so tired of dealing with my own feelings.
Still, I know that every day, despite what I feel emotionally, my God deserves my praise, and my love; because even if I were to never receive another thing from Him, He has already given me more than I deserve or could ever repay.
I'm not really sure what the point of this post is...It's just me being real and saying what's on my mind I guess.
*hugs I love you! It does eventually get easier. You'll find that more good days go by between the ones that end in tears. I love you, and I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to sound mean, but I am so glad you have and share thoughts like these...I am getting better, but have struggled with very similar issues for a very long time. It's kinda encouraging to know that others have the same problems... So glad that we have an awesome God, loving husbands, and listening sisters to get us through these messes :) Love you lots!
ReplyDelete*hugs back* Thanks Heidi! I know it will be easier eventually. Thanks for being here for me, and the prayers mean a lot! I love you too!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't sound mean Erin, makes sense. That's kind of why I actually publish the posts like these. I'm always here to listen if you want to talk :) Love you too!!