I was talking to Alex last night about what else I was thinking about after having posted on my blog, and he told me I should add to what I had written last night, so here are my thoughts. (Though perhaps not worded as clearly as I would like...)
We learn in Ephesians 5 (verses 22-33) that a married couple is supposed to be an example of how Christ loves the Church, and how we, as Christians, are 'married' to Him. I think that is one of the reasons that being told that Alex and I will feel less passionate about each other in a few years bothers me so much. It's sad, but the sin of the world has ruined the godly image of marriage, and even Christian are becoming less and less the good example that they are supposed to be. There is still a parallel there though and I will do my best to explain.
It seems that more and more, after a few years of being 'saved' that Christians will become complacent in their walk with Christ. They had a fire and a passion for a while and read their Bible every day they told everyone about what God had done for them, and how He had changed their life for the better; but it started to fade after a while. Now they still go to church once a week, they still tithe, and then think they are doing great. "That's just how it is." "It's just a part of life." They just got past that "newlywed stage".
Why? Why is that okay?? Just as I don't ever foresee myself saying "No, I see Alex everyday, I won't miss him if he has to go on a three day business trip" Why should I be okay if I decide to skip three days of Bible reading? Has my Savior done any less for me now than He had done fourteen years ago when I gave my life to Him? The answer is "No!" I still love Him just as much and more! I want to serve Him, please Him, and tell other people how wonderful and powerful He is!!
So, there are married couples who seem to expect that every other couple will become so used to having their spouse there that they don't even seem to notice when they have barely talked to each other for weeks. Why should we expect young Christians to feel any different when those of us who are older than them act like it doesn't make any difference to use whether we talk to our Lord -our 'husband'- or not?
Now, I just want to say that this post isn't pointing fingers at anyone in particular...but if you feel that it's talking about you, shouldn't you make a change? I'm just trying to tell it like I see it..And I'll be the first to admit that I have been having to work harder lately, because I had started to come a little bit complacent about what my wonderful Lord and Savior did for me, and what He gave up for me.
Yup, sad but true. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI've never thought about the "honeymoon phase" issue like that before...thanks for that perspective!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Wonderful thoughts, Sadie!
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome friends and thank you! :) I hoped I had put it in a way that made sense. Things usually sounds better in my head.
ReplyDeleteSo my crazy thoughts on the issue...LOL...I said the EXACT same things you just did in these two postings, and yes I agree, I think what most people mean by using the whole "newlywed" remarks is that you will eventually become so comfortable in being one that you will naturally still feel like you are connected at the hip when you are physically not...I go away for weekends here and there for pro-life conferences, retreats and speaking engagements, the first few times were HORRIBLE, I could hardly stand to be away from Kyle for a night to the point where I could hardly sleep, in the "newlywed stage" Now that we are going on 5 years it is much easier to be away from him because I feel as though he is still with me even when he is not, the becoming one process has helped me to be more able to be physically away from him for short periods of time and spending these last few years growing, building trust, proving trust has just made it easier still to be away...if anyone is knocking you for being all over each other like "newlyweds" then that is their problem but if someone is using the expression to simply let you know that down the road things will change a bit then just know that they will, physically, the freedom you two have with no children will change, the spontaneous moments will change and that will in turn change your supply and demand of those moments so its not the the fire is gone it is that other things can get in the way and as long as you stay focused on your marriage and your walk with the Lord those things will come back around so just be careful to not assume that because another couple are ok with not holding hands 24-7 it may simply be because their hearts are so intertwined that they may not even notice they are not holding hands because internally they are! Love Ya, just my 2 crazy cents! LOL
ReplyDeleteOh, I understand what you're saying Meagan. Just that, to get my thoughts out, I didn't think I needed to add all of those sorts of specifics. Hehe. I was going for the more cut and dried "the years of marriage shouldn't subtract the amount of love and affection".
ReplyDeleteGotcha, Totally agree with you there, I will ALWAYS be a newly wed, we have to choose each day to love, show affection etc...I didn't mean to blog on your blog...hahaha
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